What's the Best Ultrabook for College?

So you've made it to the big dance and now all you have to find is your date:  Your laptop.  You'll spend long nights getting all touchy feely with it, so let's keep our standards high.  Note, if you intend to game instead of study, this advising isn't for you.   I'm not talking about the game that's going to land you a hot date.  You need to know nothing, I'm winging you.

If she's not good-looking, she'll probably never enter your prefrontal consideration.  Hey, I don't care what your mother told you.  Looks matter.  If she doesn't have a slender profile, she'll never fit in your backpack with your other lovers.  Ha, yeah I said it...player.

Let me just say you don't want to date an overweight beast either.  By overweight beast, I mean anything greater than 3 lbs weight of the Acer Aspire S3-951-6646.  Your other lovers are heavy and you don't want to break your back over love.

There a plenty of ladies out there that have plenty of game.  These are the easy ladies.  Good for a thrilling night, but offer little future.  Kind of like playing BF3 all night.  While many ultrabooks offer little in improving your performance gaming, they do offer lightening fast browsing, word doccing, and other studious activities like facebooking.  Instant on will also add time into life that will always seem to lack it.  Hydrate yourself by sleeping now.  There is a drought in college.

What else will be that missing something in your life?  Outlets.  Conveniently, when your laptop battery dies in the library, all the outlets will already be all taken.  Except for that one outlet next to the annoying kid tapping his pencil.  Six hours of cordless freedom can be yours with this Acer.  Or should I say that you are buying six hours of productive learning/working in addition to buying annoying kid insurance with your purchase of the Acer Aspire S3-951-6646.



While expensive dates may be fine when you have a real job above the minimum wage rate; in college, money grabbers should be avoided.  You want to be doing the grabbing on your dates.  I would consider a good date if you grabbed the Acer Aspire S3-951-6646.

Samsung Series 9 NP900X4B-A02US 15-Inch Laptop Reviews

If you have ever went to prison, you know what a lack of freedom feels like.  In fact, if you have every owned a laptop with a shitty battery, you know what a lack a freedom feels like.  Instead of being chained down to the metal ball, you are chained down to the outlet next to the stinky guy in the internet cafe.  The Samsung Series 9 NP900X4B-A02US offers you that coveted "Get out of jail free" card.

Or in other words, "get the hell out of that stinky air" card!  Samsung claims the thin and light delivers ten hours of freedom from the plug.  However, we all know laptop companies are lying crooks when it comes to battery life.

It's ultra thin, super light, and has a 7.5 hour battery life whilst streaming video. - Not Samsung

But is this ultrabook really ultra thin and super light as claimed?  These whiners don't think so.

Half a pound overweight. Screen a little underbright. - PC Nag

Am I overweight too?  Let's look up at the generalized, bullshit chart:

But let's be honest.  We don't like our women because they are 5'7" and 125 lbs.  No we like them because of their looks edit: personality, which is why I am going to show you the Samsung Series 9's personality:

Beautifully crafted, blade thin and very quiet. - Man with high standards

SEE!  She's got quiet attributes.  We're not that shallow.  Overall, I give this piece a 9 on the scale to 10. You are probably not good enough for a 10 so settling for a 9 like the Samsung Series 9 NP900X4B-A02US will make sure you are not drinking that coffee at the shop alone.

HP Folio 13-1020US 13.3-Inch Ultrabook Reviews

WARNING:  By reading these reviews, you may contract the Folio disease.  Before bringing your eyes any closer to the screen to view this beautiful but deceiving laptop, pull over your medical mask.

How do you know if you have contracted it?  Well, if your draw drops (have another person nearby to hold it back up so the airborne virus does not float into your mouth) after seeing that the HP Folio 13-1020US 13.3-Inch Ultrabook not only has a ethernet but also a standard sized HDMI port in addition to a backlit keyboard, then you might have/will contract Folio.

There are other ultrabooks but they all are missing something; ethernet, hdmi, backlit keyboard.  - Quarantined Patient

One of the unfortunate syntomes of the disease is a lack of WiDi in your system.  No, you can breath now.  The HP Folio has WiFi but not WiDi.  While WiFi allows you to connect to your internet wirelessly, WiDi allows you to share whatevers on your laptop screen on your bigscreen.

...does not have WiDi (wireless display) capability, which is listed as a standard feature on the HP website. - Patient in Stage 1 of Disease

For a cure to Folio, check out the WiDi wielding HP Envy 14.

If you made it this far into the reviews, there's not much hope for you now as your hand wanders over to buy the HP Folio 13-1020US 13.3-Inch Ultrabook.  To cope, you may need to break out that medical marijuana.  Do I have a lighter?  Kinda.  Just get your blunt close to the...

BLAZING fast installs. The solid state drive, although small, installs new programs amazingly fast. - Folio Zombie

I know you are going to buy this sick ultrabook, but I just want to you to see what you have become.

But of course if the doctor told me that I only had twenty-four hours left to live, I would buy the HP Folio 13-1020US 13.3-Inch Ultrabook too.